19 Ways To Maintain a Healthy Insanity Level
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “In.”
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your cheques, write “For Smuggling Diamonds.”
- Finish all of your sentences with “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”
- Don’t use any punctuation.
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Order a Diet Water whenever you go to eat. Make sure you say this with a serious face.
- When you go through a Drive-Thru, specify that your order is “To Go.”
- Sing along at an opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
- Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
- 5 days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
- Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name: “Rock Bottom.”
- When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I Won!, I Won!”
- When leaving a zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, “Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!”
- Say to your children over dinner, “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”
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March 11th, 2020 at 7:51 pm
Why did you tell the story with point by point?